An example of summer don't.

So, Tanya and I went back to the mall today... whilst on the skytrain we witnessed something truly horrendous. As much of a fan as we are of the romper, there is definitely a wrong and a right way to wear it.  This girl is a prime example of how not to wear a onsie:

- A

Another summer don't...

I have only one summer don't that comes to mind (forgive me, I'm tired as the little one refused to go to sleep this evening...sigh).  The other day - not a particularly warm day mind you - I stepped outside and spotted this cute girl walking down the hill.  She had a Gwen Stefani look about her.  Platinum hair, in a sort of mussed updo, and red lips.  But I could only see her head because she was behind a vehicle across the street.  When I saw her outfit I literally gasped.  She was wearing a black & white triangle bikini top and jeans.  Really?  If the temperature is right for jeans I'm pretty sure it's not right for a bikini.  A bikini shouldn't be worn on the street, period.  PERIOD!!!  I actually wonder if she was trying to channel Gwen Stefani.  I've seen photos of Gwen wearing bikini tops with mesh tanks over top, belly showing.  Um, but it's Gwen.  She's a rock star!!  And I'm sure her outfit was event appropriate.  

As for the good summer outfits I agree with Ashtynn.  Love the maxi-dress.  They are sweet and comfy.  Like pyjamas you can wear outside (note: do not wear your actual pyjama's outside. EVER!)

~T~

Summer do not EVER's.

Okay, people, I know it's summer, but that doesn't mean walk around naked.
I've seen many a horrendous outfit in the few warm days we've had here in Vancouver.
Today, for example. Tanya and I went to the mall, and I saw SO many ill-fitting ensembles.  Stop buying your clothes in the childrens section, PLEASE. No one wants to see your asscheeks, muffin top, or shirt strap fat rolls. UGH.

If you're going to wear white pants, please please please for the love of God DO NOT WEAR NEON COLORED UNDERWEAR. Neutral is a MUST for that type of attire. No one needs to know what color your panties are. Maybe try on your pants first, too? This goes out to the girl with the too-tight stretched so thin see-through white shorts- go up a couple sizes.

Think about where you're going before you leave the house. Sure, it's plenty hot outside, but an air-conditioned mall is quite the climate change. Consider wearing a bra under your crepe-paper thin tank tops so the whole world DOESN'T know you're freezing your nipples off, literally. I don't need to see your - ahem- "headlights."

A trend I absolutely love, however, I saw done right more than once during our excursion. The maxi- dress. Comfortable, versatile, and effortlessly chic. Maxi-dress (that fits, please)+sandals+ sunglasses= easy summer DO.  Tanya, care to share any do's or don't's you witnessed today?

-A

Born in the wrong decade.

Oh, how I long for the days of yore. Times were simpler, but the fashion was NOT. I wish I had a time machine just so I could wear some of the things I've seen in movies or read about in my favorite genre, historical fiction. Corsets and petticoats and gowns, oh my! The time and energy women put into their clothes back in the day. As time went on, fashion evolved (up until about 1970, when things took a dive...).  
My love for past fashions stems as far back as the 18th century. French fashion a la Marie Antionette in the 1700's, I die.

 Sofia Coppola's Marie Antionette film contains some of the most beautiful costumes I've seen. Although I'm not a huge Kirsten Dunst fan, she wore them well. The gowns are simply beautiful. Handcrafted and embroidered, these gowns must have taken months to create in the 1700's, and the workmanship shows.

Fashion evolved slowly as time went on, and the dresses got progressively smaller and less extraordinary. Still, what I wouldn't give to don a garment from the 19th century as well, such as this beautiful 1890's gown (right).

 






The beginning of the 20th century saw people test the limits of society, shortening hemlines (gasp! ankles? how dare you!) and trimming in dresses close to the hips. Fabrics became simpler, less embroidery and decoration. Use of lace and patterned fabric came to replace the hand-decorated masterpieces. Of course, with a new tea dress you need an overcoat of matching fabric! This early 1900's gown (left) gives you an example of what I'm speaking of. God, what I wouldn't give to stroll through the park wearing a dress like that, twirling my parasol. Ugh!

Using another great movie as an example, Titanic had some wonderful costume designers. Everything Kate Winslet's Rose wore was impeccably put together. From the moment she exited a streetcar in her massive hat and wonderful white skirt-suit(below), my attention was captured by her clothes. 

Okay, okay, I'm rambling. Moving on to quite 
 possibly my favorite decade of fashion, the 1920's! (Think: Chicago). Flapper dresses, bejeweled garter belts, dropped waists. Just oh so fabulous. The jazz age was one of the best. I envision myself in a smoky room, with some red lipstick and satin shoes, and fabulous company, as above a still from Boardwalk Empire. 

Anyways, on to my point, I suppose. The days of complicated fashion seem to be over. Women have gotten lazy with their jeans and t-shirt wardrobes. I would kill for a chance to engage in the drama of wearing something just so fabulous! If only I didn't care what others think of me, but oh the looks one would get wearing any of these outfits walking down the street. Although, with the revival of the '80's and '90's fashion, a girl can dream, no?

Katy Perry: gotta love her!

Oh, Katy Perry.  You are sooooooo purrrrrrrrdy.  I went to her Teenage Dreams concert last night.  Um, I think that's what it was called.  Anyhoo, she looks amazing as usual.  I covet her jet black hair and porcelain skin.  And the fact that she's a pop star so she can wear all those outrageous outfits.  So much fun!  

 I mean, just look at her.  She's hot, but in a cute way.  Super hard to achieve in my humble opinion.  She attracts the girls as well as the guys.  I can't even say I mind that my husband drools after her because at least he has good taste.  LOL!  Well, on to the point of this blog.

We all know what Katy Perry wears.  She has some crazy outfits.  Like this example:

She wears such things because she can!  YOU cannot!  I don't know why people insist on dressing up (or trying to) as the pop star they are going to see.  I haven't been to a Lady Gaga concert yet but I can just imagine the scene.  So as my husband and I were navigating the throngs of concert-goers we noticed many a horrifying outfit (yeah, my husband loves to chime in on the fashion too.)  

First off, there were the 20-somethings trying to be Katy Perry.  Pink wigs, blue wigs, black wigs, Vargas girl makeup etc etc.  I didn't see a one that was executed properly.  They all just looked like a bunch o' sloozy sloots in their ill-fitting, too tight dresses and poorly chosen accessories.  But that wasn't the worst.  Next is the young children that somehow got to go to this concert sans parental units.  PARENTS!!!!  You must be stupid, stupid, stupid.  There were a bunch of 12 year old girls running around in tube tops, cropped tops and hotpants.  WTF!?  But on to my favourite.  The Katy Perry Cougar.  Oh yes, they were everywhere.  There was one bleached blonde "girl" in a dayglo bright coral tube dress (think 1984 Whitesnake concert and I'm guessing she actually wore it there first) but she wasn't a girl at all.  She was a full-on fake n' baked 40+ year old.  If she glanced my way she would have seen me visibly shudder.  Then I saw another coug dressed in what I can only explain as modern day saloon girl.  You know, with the bustier type action except the skirt was super short.  And can I just add that about 99% of these women did not have the bodies to back up these outfits   Note to self: must remember to bring my camera to these events so I can take pictures of these nightmares.

Yeah, so I wish I had some photographic proof to back up this little rant but if you've been to a similar concert, I'm sure you've seen plenty of examples of what I speak of here.  Oh and there was a guy dressed like a UNICORN with a girl wearing a sparkly stripper bikini.  Even Katy Perry wouldn't wear that you crazy girl, whoever you are.

I know that we only live once and should have fun.  All I'm asking is that you respect other peoples eyeballs.  We don't want to see it.  Or maybe we do?  I'd have nothing to write about otherwise. 

 

Movie Style

I don't know about any of you out there but sometimes I look forward to seeing a movie just because I know the clothes are going to be spectacular.  Water for Elephants did not disappoint.  Okay, okay...the deliciousness of Robert Pattinson helped in the eye candy department.  But Reese Witherspoon's character's clothes held my full attention even with RPAT on the screen. 

Aargh, I love the style of eras gone by.  You know, when people didn't wear their pyjama's outside!!!

Imagine getting to wear outfits like this just to talk about how you plan on training your elephant? 

Oh and let's just wear a fabulous gown for an after work nightcap.  Or don the matching black satin cape for your romantic escape.

You couldn't wear this dress and not have a fabulous evening.  It's impossible!

There aren't many movies where I geek out over the clothes but this one is definitely in the lead.  Another that comes to mind is Rachel McAdams outfits in The Notebook.  And Michelle Pfeiffer's in Scarface.  And absolutely anything set pre-1900 for that matter.  Oh so many to choose from.  I think it would be fantastic if people dressed up to go out nowadays.  No more sweatpants at the grocery store or at the airport.  Well, a girl can dream, can't she?

~T~

More Wrong

Eeek!  I'm feeling mean today so I'm going to post about some more ugly fashion.  Here we go!

First off, the sleeveless trench.  What can I say but POINTLESS!  I hate it.  I don't particularly care for regular trench coats either but sleeveless ones are just silly.

Ok, next is these new fangled microflare jeans.  Gah, they don't look that great on a skinny model so they are definitely NOT going to do a regular gal any favours.  Please don't fall prey to this new style.

Um, now for big, plastic bangles.  They just look weird to me.  I can't explain this one so don't ask. 

Quilted bags seem to be a favourite, I'm guessing because they are sort of an iconic Chanel item.  But guess what?  Me no likey!!  I suppose they're great for grandma, though.

Eff off to Fedoras!  When are these going to go away?  They just remind me of pimps.  Not that I know alot of pimps.  Ok, I don't know any at all but if I did, they'd all be wearing fedoras.  I guarantee it!

On to shirt dresses.  I can't explain why I don't like these but I think it may have something to do with buttons.  The buttons go all the way to the bottom of the skirt and I have a weird fear that perhaps the buttons will open without my knowledge.  If I wore this, I'd constantly be checking and rechecking that my buttons were all done up.

My current most hated item is the sharkbite top.  This will make EVERYONE look like they have big hips.  EVERYONE!  Not worth it.  Don't do it.  Stop.  Don't even think about it.  I swear it's true.  No, you can't pull it off.  No one can.  Not even a super cute baby girl should wear this.  It would give her self-esteem issues. 

Phew, my rant is over.

~T~

God, I love her!

I'm talking about Gwen Stefani.  I love her style even though sometimes she wears things I consider crazy.  She can make anything work.  She's magic.  Here's glorious Gwen at producer Brad Grey's wedding in L.A.

A black and white (love) polka dot (love) maxi dress (love)!
And of course her hair and makeup are absolute perfection.
*le sigh*

That is all.

~T~

Um, but I want to see beautiful people on tv...

...and in magazines and in movies!

Is that wrong?  I keep reading how people want to see a more accurate representation of the average general population's body type.  I say no thank you to this idea.  I don't think they've thought this through.  The stats are something like 60% of adults in North America are overweight or obese.  I myself am a good 30 lbs over my healthy weight and I would not want to see my double chin on the big screen.  Besides this, I watch tv and movies to escape real life.  I look at magazines to see amazing clothes and makeup on ethereal beings.  Escapism!  

When you are out in public, who are your eyes automatically drawn to?  The attractive ones!  It's natural so don't fight it.  In my opinion you are either jealous of beautiful/slim/hot/whatever people or they motivate you.  Let them be motivational!  Admire what you see and decide if you want to be admired too.  You can make it happen if you really want to.

Oh, and please stop telling me Marilyn Monroe was a size 14.  Yes, I know she was.  In the 1950's before vanity sizing was invented.  Nowadays she'd fit a size 6.  And yes models have gotten scary skinny since the days of the supermodel (Linda, Claudia, Christy, Naomi, Cindy).  It'd be nice to see that healthy, fit model again.  You know, the ones that walk the Victoria's Secret runway but can't be found on any other runway.  Too skinny is as gag-worthy as obesity in my humble opinion.

Here are some of the best bodies in Hollywood:

Tried and true, Jennifer Aniston.  Her body is perfection.  Clothes always look so amazing on her and she has great style.

And Gwyneth Paltrow of course.  Her legs are insane!

And my newest girl crush, Annalynne McCord from 90210.  She has frequent butt shots on the show and it's no wonder.  Her butt is phenomenal!  Clearly she knows this.

Anyway, these are the celebs that keep me motivated and hoping those damned squats will pay off one of these days!

~T~

Always "Do"-ing it right!



Sky-high hemlines and stilettos really work for Gwyneth.
She always manages to keep it classy while still looking smokin' hot.



Although I've seen some serious celebrity fashion mishaps (ie. Bjork a la 2001 Oscars), there are a few celebs who always seem to get it right. I want to write this post to comend them on giving so many people faith in Hollywood stylists. For starters, mom-of-two and style icon Gwyneth Paltrow always looks phenomenal, no matter what she wears, yet she has really nailed down a signature style. 



I love Lauren's beachy hair and braid,
a signature style she put on the map.

Reality star-turned designer and fashion mogul Lauren Conrad (of MTV's Laguna Beach and The Hills fame) always manages to look cute, comfy, and ultimately California-girl chic. I can't get enough of her dressed-down daily uniform of great jeans, chic tops and killer handbags. A nod to great sunglasses as well, a completely underrated accessory that Lauren always makes to look fantastic!

In the midst of so many style wrongdoings, there are a handful of celebs who always come out on top. I gotta hand it to them, they give me a glimmer of hope for the future of fashion.
More to come on awesome star style, and maybe a dash of what NOT to do ;)

- A.

8 Top Runway Trends...

...according to Allure's May issue that is.

1) Floral lipstick.  Hmm, floral?  They mean floral colours.  Not so sure these fly in real life.  Especially when they try to push the orange.  Um, who wants to look like an 80 year old lady?  Not I.
2) Clumpy lashes.  Seriously?  No thank you.  I take my lashes VERY seriously.  Do not want clumps.  Ever.
3) Low ponytails.  Yeah, I like this.  I rock this frequently since I'm a new mom and it's easy and keeps my long hair out of my baby's hands.  But they were actually talking about super low ponytails, as in, falling out-like.  Not into that.  What's the point?
4) Strong blush.  It's ok.  I can dig it.  But please no 80's stripes!
5) Metallic eye shadow.  Yeah!  But leave the major coverage for the clubs.  A nice sheer wash over the entire lid is nice for day, no?
6) Buns & braids.  Duh, always a do.
7) Monochrome makeup.  Yes, I am a fan.  Always have been.  My favourite look of my past is when I wore Revlon's Vixen polish, lipstick and eyeshadow rimmed around my entire eye a la smoky eyeliner.  Love.
8) Crazy hair.  No.  Unless you are looking to hook up with Frankenstein's monster.

Congratulations, Gwen Stefani!

It's about time!  I'm talking of her L'Oreal spokesperson contract of course.  What took these bozo's so long anyway?  Who better than Gwen Stefani to promote 1) red lipstick and 2) platinum hair colour?  Duh!  That is all.

~T~

Leggings are not pants!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry people, but so many of you seem to think that leggings qualify as pants.

If it can go see through and doesn't have pockets, it is not a pair of pants. Leggings are stretchy, no? Then why do they give you muffin top? Here's why - they're too small.

If they are too big, chances are you get a little effect I like to call "Hungry Bum."
I do not want to see your bum eating your leggings. Sorry, but it burns my retinas. EW!

Lindsay Lohan (left)  is the queen of wearing leggings as though they are pants.
If you're going to wear leggings, you need a shirt long enough to cover your crotch. No one wants to see your camel toe, thank you very much.

Hungry bum + Camel toe = THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO SEE. GOT IT?!

Here's some examples:

Camel toe (Top Left). EW! This is where you would need a longer shirt. Combined with another trend I hate - Uggs. I get it, they're "comfortable." I even own a pair, and I'm embarrassed to wear them in public. Wear pants long enough to cover those atrocities.

 

I believed I mentioned "Hungry Bum"(Top Right)? This is what Hungry Bum looks like! Uggles, is it not?

I hope some of you wearers of leggings have learned a little something from this post. Leggings are great, I love them. The unfortunate thing is, it's so easy to make these faux-pas while wearing them. Once again, the three HUGE NO'S of wearing leggings: Muffin Top, Hungry Bum, and Camel Toe. RETAIN THIS INFORMATION, PEOPLE!!!

Thanks for readin'

-A.

Things I bought today!

I've decided to start a regular blog about the things I buy.

Trust me - I buy ALOT of things. I LOVE clothes, shoes... I just love shopping in general.

So, once again, I shopped today. Here's what I bought:

Lovely crocheted heels from Aldo. ($80, http://www.aldoshoes.com/)

Also, some lovely summer clothes from one of my favorite stores, American Eagle (skirt: $24.95. Button down: $49.50. Tank: $24.50; http://www.ae.com/)

- A.

Disagreeable Fashion

I'm going to tell you about a major pet peeve of mine.  First let me inform you of my love for (ok, addiction to) magazines.  Fashion/beauty magazines to be exact.  I subscribe to Canadian magazines Flare, Fashion and Lou Lou (my fave of the moment) and always buy Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire, In Style and People's Style Watch.  I've tried not buying them but I simply cannot abstain.  Hey, it's better than being addicted to crack, right?  On to the pet peeve.

One year they will all write about how something from a past era is crap and should NEVER be worn EVER only to sing the exact same item's praises the very next year.  I understand things change, but come on!  For example, the pleated waist, tapered ankle pant of the 80's.  No woman should wear pleated pants.  I don't care who you are.  Don't do it!  Poof on top and narrow on the bottom has been called a horrifying name in the past.  You know it.  You've heard of it.  The infamous "mom pants" aka "mom jeans."  You cannot tell me these suck and suck hard for 2 decades and then decide they're cool again.  I won't have it.  I refuse. 

Here are a few fashion items I will never wear and don't think anyone should wear EVER!  And when I say that, I mean it.  I won't change my mind.  (Ok, I changed my mind about a fashion choice once in the past.  It was flared pants.  When they first emerged in the early 90's I said "hells no" but sure enough, they grew on me.  But guess what?  I never stopped liking them even when they were replaced with the skinny jean!! Phew.)

First and most heinous, the clog.  Why?  Just why would you put this ugly thing on your foot?
We want sexy feet, no?  Feet need to be sexy.  And feet need ALOT of help.

I'm going to add a photo off the clogs extra ugly cousin, the Croc.  Um, whoever decided these should be worn outside of a garden should have their head examined.  I'm not joking.  This isn't really a fashion item to any sane person, but I thought I'd throw it in just so you can see the relation between it and the above clog.  Clog.  Clog.  It sounds gross.

Good Lord, I need an eyewash station just looking at those atrocities.

Here's a photo of the creepy pantaloons mentioned above, just for reference, even though I know you know what they look like.  This version is trying to disguise itself in a fashion show, but don't be fooled.

And last but not least, we have the mixing of prints.  Are the powers that be just bored?  Or do "they" sit around a table and come up with crazy shit just to see if the sheep will follow?  This pic is from Prada's Spring 2011 collection.  I don't really care for Prada much in general but this is just wrong.  It burns my retinas!

Cute skirt though :)

I have more disagreeable fashion to come, don't worry.  I just don't want to overwhelm anyone's senses with too much grossness.  There's only so much our delicate sensibilites can tolerate.  Plus, I know alot of you will disagree.  But I'm willing to bet the only reason you disagree is because you've been brainwashed by Anna Wintour.  Yeah, I said it.

~T~

OMG, We're Both Weirdos!

Dear A,

I think you should make a deal with yourself to not wear jeans for a week and see what happens.  I was thinking about this closet dilemma all day today and I think I have the answer.

LIFE IS A FASHION SHOW!

So let's act like it ;)

Who says we can't wear "nice" things on a daily basis?  There is no rule.  Yeah, so maybe we're just going to get a coffee or to the mall.  Doesn't mean we have to wear jeans or (ahem) lululemons everytime, right?  I'm at a point right now, after months and months of maternity clothes, where I want to dress fantastically for no reason at all.  Once my clothes fit again and I get rid of all my "meh" items, I'm definitely going to make the effort.  Always must be camera-ready, just in case!  LOL

Love, T

But, I do love it! A reply.

So, T.

I totally get where you're coming from, when you look at your clothes and think, blah. My problem is the opposite. I look in my closet and I have so many things that I do love! I know what you're thinking, "So what's the issue you weirdo?" My issue is confidence. I have so many clothes that I love, yet won't wear. I stick to the same routine of jeans and t-shirts and flats. All the time. YAWN. I get up and start putting on a great outfit, maybe a skirt or a dress once in awhile...that will last about 5 minutes. Then it's back to the jeans or yoga pants and a hoodie. I think to myself: Why bother dressing up? It's not like I have anywhere interesting to go. I don't think anyone should feel intimidated by their own wardrobe, but I do. I look at my clothes and think, I love this top, this skirt, this dress, these heels. I look at what I actually wear, and think blah. How do I get out of my outfit slump?

- A.

But, do I love it? A Closet Expedition.

I have nothing to wear.
All women have thought this at one time or another.  Perhaps you are bored of your wardrobe.  Or you gained/lost weight so nothing fits anymore.  My issue is 1) post-pregnancy weight, and 2) my pre-pregnancy weight wasn't great either.  My thought about this is "why buy nice clothes when I don't like my size?"

All the clothes that fit me at the moment are a few random maternity pieces that are tolerable and my mom's hand-me-downs.  My mom looks great in her clothes but I do not.   And as for the maternity clothes?  They are maternity clothes!!  99% uggles.

When I think back to when I was my "ideal size" I can't recall liking my wardrobe then either.  So what gives?  Here's my theory.  Everything I'm drawn to, style-wise, isn't great for my body type.  Boooo!  Take my BFF for instance.  She looks so chic all the time.  I'd love to wear what she does but I would just look like a giant sack of poop in it.  Yes, poop.  Lumpy & mushy (gag).  I tend to not like the things that fit me or supposedly flatter my body.  Dilemma.

So here I am looking in my closet, asking myself "do I love this?" and the answer is almost always NO!  Except my shoes.  I love my shoes.  Too bad they hurt my feet but that's a whole other issue.

Now what?  How do I fix my problem?  I can either accept the things that supposedly flatter me but I hardly care for.  Or walk around looking like a cute, dressed up bag of poop.  Any other suggestions?

~T~

Toms are my newest obsession. They are cute, comfortable, and for an awesome cause.
With every purchase of a pair of Toms, a pair of shoes is given to a child in need.
Visit http://www.tomsshoes.ca/ to view styles.

 

- A.

FAT vs. CURVY

Sorry to be so blunt, but FAT does not equal CURVY!!!
This association drives us crazy! We don't mean to be cruel, but fat exists. There is a difference between fat and curvy, people. For example, to us fat is like this : (   ). Curvy is like this: )  (. See the difference? You can be a skinny curvy person, or an overweight curvy person, but we've never seen a fat curvy person.  If you're fat, you've got rolls.  You've got a double chin.  You don't have ankles (ie. Kirstie Alley, Biggest Loser contestants).  If you're curvy, you've got boobs.  You've got butt.  You've probably got a relatively small waist (ie. Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez).
The media seems to have curvy and fat backwards. They call Jennifer Love Hewitt "fat"
 yet call Gabourey Sidibe "curvy."

Our theory is when you are really fat, the media can't be outwardly mean so they came up with this term "curvy."  When you've gained a few, you are "fat."  WTF?  So in other words it's okay to call an almost slim person fat but you can never, ever call a fat person fat. Not that we condone using size to bully (fat, skinny, tall, short, whatever) but this is some ass-backwards political-correctness, no? 

Thanks for readin'

T & A