Um, but I want to see beautiful people on tv...

...and in magazines and in movies!

Is that wrong?  I keep reading how people want to see a more accurate representation of the average general population's body type.  I say no thank you to this idea.  I don't think they've thought this through.  The stats are something like 60% of adults in North America are overweight or obese.  I myself am a good 30 lbs over my healthy weight and I would not want to see my double chin on the big screen.  Besides this, I watch tv and movies to escape real life.  I look at magazines to see amazing clothes and makeup on ethereal beings.  Escapism!  

When you are out in public, who are your eyes automatically drawn to?  The attractive ones!  It's natural so don't fight it.  In my opinion you are either jealous of beautiful/slim/hot/whatever people or they motivate you.  Let them be motivational!  Admire what you see and decide if you want to be admired too.  You can make it happen if you really want to.

Oh, and please stop telling me Marilyn Monroe was a size 14.  Yes, I know she was.  In the 1950's before vanity sizing was invented.  Nowadays she'd fit a size 6.  And yes models have gotten scary skinny since the days of the supermodel (Linda, Claudia, Christy, Naomi, Cindy).  It'd be nice to see that healthy, fit model again.  You know, the ones that walk the Victoria's Secret runway but can't be found on any other runway.  Too skinny is as gag-worthy as obesity in my humble opinion.

Here are some of the best bodies in Hollywood:

Tried and true, Jennifer Aniston.  Her body is perfection.  Clothes always look so amazing on her and she has great style.

And Gwyneth Paltrow of course.  Her legs are insane!

And my newest girl crush, Annalynne McCord from 90210.  She has frequent butt shots on the show and it's no wonder.  Her butt is phenomenal!  Clearly she knows this.

Anyway, these are the celebs that keep me motivated and hoping those damned squats will pay off one of these days!

~T~

Always "Do"-ing it right!



Sky-high hemlines and stilettos really work for Gwyneth.
She always manages to keep it classy while still looking smokin' hot.



Although I've seen some serious celebrity fashion mishaps (ie. Bjork a la 2001 Oscars), there are a few celebs who always seem to get it right. I want to write this post to comend them on giving so many people faith in Hollywood stylists. For starters, mom-of-two and style icon Gwyneth Paltrow always looks phenomenal, no matter what she wears, yet she has really nailed down a signature style. 



I love Lauren's beachy hair and braid,
a signature style she put on the map.

Reality star-turned designer and fashion mogul Lauren Conrad (of MTV's Laguna Beach and The Hills fame) always manages to look cute, comfy, and ultimately California-girl chic. I can't get enough of her dressed-down daily uniform of great jeans, chic tops and killer handbags. A nod to great sunglasses as well, a completely underrated accessory that Lauren always makes to look fantastic!

In the midst of so many style wrongdoings, there are a handful of celebs who always come out on top. I gotta hand it to them, they give me a glimmer of hope for the future of fashion.
More to come on awesome star style, and maybe a dash of what NOT to do ;)

- A.

8 Top Runway Trends...

...according to Allure's May issue that is.

1) Floral lipstick.  Hmm, floral?  They mean floral colours.  Not so sure these fly in real life.  Especially when they try to push the orange.  Um, who wants to look like an 80 year old lady?  Not I.
2) Clumpy lashes.  Seriously?  No thank you.  I take my lashes VERY seriously.  Do not want clumps.  Ever.
3) Low ponytails.  Yeah, I like this.  I rock this frequently since I'm a new mom and it's easy and keeps my long hair out of my baby's hands.  But they were actually talking about super low ponytails, as in, falling out-like.  Not into that.  What's the point?
4) Strong blush.  It's ok.  I can dig it.  But please no 80's stripes!
5) Metallic eye shadow.  Yeah!  But leave the major coverage for the clubs.  A nice sheer wash over the entire lid is nice for day, no?
6) Buns & braids.  Duh, always a do.
7) Monochrome makeup.  Yes, I am a fan.  Always have been.  My favourite look of my past is when I wore Revlon's Vixen polish, lipstick and eyeshadow rimmed around my entire eye a la smoky eyeliner.  Love.
8) Crazy hair.  No.  Unless you are looking to hook up with Frankenstein's monster.

Congratulations, Gwen Stefani!

It's about time!  I'm talking of her L'Oreal spokesperson contract of course.  What took these bozo's so long anyway?  Who better than Gwen Stefani to promote 1) red lipstick and 2) platinum hair colour?  Duh!  That is all.

~T~

Leggings are not pants!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry people, but so many of you seem to think that leggings qualify as pants.

If it can go see through and doesn't have pockets, it is not a pair of pants. Leggings are stretchy, no? Then why do they give you muffin top? Here's why - they're too small.

If they are too big, chances are you get a little effect I like to call "Hungry Bum."
I do not want to see your bum eating your leggings. Sorry, but it burns my retinas. EW!

Lindsay Lohan (left)  is the queen of wearing leggings as though they are pants.
If you're going to wear leggings, you need a shirt long enough to cover your crotch. No one wants to see your camel toe, thank you very much.

Hungry bum + Camel toe = THINGS I DO NOT WANT TO SEE. GOT IT?!

Here's some examples:

Camel toe (Top Left). EW! This is where you would need a longer shirt. Combined with another trend I hate - Uggs. I get it, they're "comfortable." I even own a pair, and I'm embarrassed to wear them in public. Wear pants long enough to cover those atrocities.

 

I believed I mentioned "Hungry Bum"(Top Right)? This is what Hungry Bum looks like! Uggles, is it not?

I hope some of you wearers of leggings have learned a little something from this post. Leggings are great, I love them. The unfortunate thing is, it's so easy to make these faux-pas while wearing them. Once again, the three HUGE NO'S of wearing leggings: Muffin Top, Hungry Bum, and Camel Toe. RETAIN THIS INFORMATION, PEOPLE!!!

Thanks for readin'

-A.

Things I bought today!

I've decided to start a regular blog about the things I buy.

Trust me - I buy ALOT of things. I LOVE clothes, shoes... I just love shopping in general.

So, once again, I shopped today. Here's what I bought:

Lovely crocheted heels from Aldo. ($80, http://www.aldoshoes.com/)

Also, some lovely summer clothes from one of my favorite stores, American Eagle (skirt: $24.95. Button down: $49.50. Tank: $24.50; http://www.ae.com/)

- A.

Disagreeable Fashion

I'm going to tell you about a major pet peeve of mine.  First let me inform you of my love for (ok, addiction to) magazines.  Fashion/beauty magazines to be exact.  I subscribe to Canadian magazines Flare, Fashion and Lou Lou (my fave of the moment) and always buy Allure, Glamour, Marie Claire, In Style and People's Style Watch.  I've tried not buying them but I simply cannot abstain.  Hey, it's better than being addicted to crack, right?  On to the pet peeve.

One year they will all write about how something from a past era is crap and should NEVER be worn EVER only to sing the exact same item's praises the very next year.  I understand things change, but come on!  For example, the pleated waist, tapered ankle pant of the 80's.  No woman should wear pleated pants.  I don't care who you are.  Don't do it!  Poof on top and narrow on the bottom has been called a horrifying name in the past.  You know it.  You've heard of it.  The infamous "mom pants" aka "mom jeans."  You cannot tell me these suck and suck hard for 2 decades and then decide they're cool again.  I won't have it.  I refuse. 

Here are a few fashion items I will never wear and don't think anyone should wear EVER!  And when I say that, I mean it.  I won't change my mind.  (Ok, I changed my mind about a fashion choice once in the past.  It was flared pants.  When they first emerged in the early 90's I said "hells no" but sure enough, they grew on me.  But guess what?  I never stopped liking them even when they were replaced with the skinny jean!! Phew.)

First and most heinous, the clog.  Why?  Just why would you put this ugly thing on your foot?
We want sexy feet, no?  Feet need to be sexy.  And feet need ALOT of help.

I'm going to add a photo off the clogs extra ugly cousin, the Croc.  Um, whoever decided these should be worn outside of a garden should have their head examined.  I'm not joking.  This isn't really a fashion item to any sane person, but I thought I'd throw it in just so you can see the relation between it and the above clog.  Clog.  Clog.  It sounds gross.

Good Lord, I need an eyewash station just looking at those atrocities.

Here's a photo of the creepy pantaloons mentioned above, just for reference, even though I know you know what they look like.  This version is trying to disguise itself in a fashion show, but don't be fooled.

And last but not least, we have the mixing of prints.  Are the powers that be just bored?  Or do "they" sit around a table and come up with crazy shit just to see if the sheep will follow?  This pic is from Prada's Spring 2011 collection.  I don't really care for Prada much in general but this is just wrong.  It burns my retinas!

Cute skirt though :)

I have more disagreeable fashion to come, don't worry.  I just don't want to overwhelm anyone's senses with too much grossness.  There's only so much our delicate sensibilites can tolerate.  Plus, I know alot of you will disagree.  But I'm willing to bet the only reason you disagree is because you've been brainwashed by Anna Wintour.  Yeah, I said it.

~T~

OMG, We're Both Weirdos!

Dear A,

I think you should make a deal with yourself to not wear jeans for a week and see what happens.  I was thinking about this closet dilemma all day today and I think I have the answer.

LIFE IS A FASHION SHOW!

So let's act like it ;)

Who says we can't wear "nice" things on a daily basis?  There is no rule.  Yeah, so maybe we're just going to get a coffee or to the mall.  Doesn't mean we have to wear jeans or (ahem) lululemons everytime, right?  I'm at a point right now, after months and months of maternity clothes, where I want to dress fantastically for no reason at all.  Once my clothes fit again and I get rid of all my "meh" items, I'm definitely going to make the effort.  Always must be camera-ready, just in case!  LOL

Love, T

But, I do love it! A reply.

So, T.

I totally get where you're coming from, when you look at your clothes and think, blah. My problem is the opposite. I look in my closet and I have so many things that I do love! I know what you're thinking, "So what's the issue you weirdo?" My issue is confidence. I have so many clothes that I love, yet won't wear. I stick to the same routine of jeans and t-shirts and flats. All the time. YAWN. I get up and start putting on a great outfit, maybe a skirt or a dress once in awhile...that will last about 5 minutes. Then it's back to the jeans or yoga pants and a hoodie. I think to myself: Why bother dressing up? It's not like I have anywhere interesting to go. I don't think anyone should feel intimidated by their own wardrobe, but I do. I look at my clothes and think, I love this top, this skirt, this dress, these heels. I look at what I actually wear, and think blah. How do I get out of my outfit slump?

- A.

But, do I love it? A Closet Expedition.

I have nothing to wear.
All women have thought this at one time or another.  Perhaps you are bored of your wardrobe.  Or you gained/lost weight so nothing fits anymore.  My issue is 1) post-pregnancy weight, and 2) my pre-pregnancy weight wasn't great either.  My thought about this is "why buy nice clothes when I don't like my size?"

All the clothes that fit me at the moment are a few random maternity pieces that are tolerable and my mom's hand-me-downs.  My mom looks great in her clothes but I do not.   And as for the maternity clothes?  They are maternity clothes!!  99% uggles.

When I think back to when I was my "ideal size" I can't recall liking my wardrobe then either.  So what gives?  Here's my theory.  Everything I'm drawn to, style-wise, isn't great for my body type.  Boooo!  Take my BFF for instance.  She looks so chic all the time.  I'd love to wear what she does but I would just look like a giant sack of poop in it.  Yes, poop.  Lumpy & mushy (gag).  I tend to not like the things that fit me or supposedly flatter my body.  Dilemma.

So here I am looking in my closet, asking myself "do I love this?" and the answer is almost always NO!  Except my shoes.  I love my shoes.  Too bad they hurt my feet but that's a whole other issue.

Now what?  How do I fix my problem?  I can either accept the things that supposedly flatter me but I hardly care for.  Or walk around looking like a cute, dressed up bag of poop.  Any other suggestions?

~T~

Toms are my newest obsession. They are cute, comfortable, and for an awesome cause.
With every purchase of a pair of Toms, a pair of shoes is given to a child in need.
Visit http://www.tomsshoes.ca/ to view styles.

 

- A.

FAT vs. CURVY

Sorry to be so blunt, but FAT does not equal CURVY!!!
This association drives us crazy! We don't mean to be cruel, but fat exists. There is a difference between fat and curvy, people. For example, to us fat is like this : (   ). Curvy is like this: )  (. See the difference? You can be a skinny curvy person, or an overweight curvy person, but we've never seen a fat curvy person.  If you're fat, you've got rolls.  You've got a double chin.  You don't have ankles (ie. Kirstie Alley, Biggest Loser contestants).  If you're curvy, you've got boobs.  You've got butt.  You've probably got a relatively small waist (ie. Kim Kardashian, Jennifer Lopez).
The media seems to have curvy and fat backwards. They call Jennifer Love Hewitt "fat"
 yet call Gabourey Sidibe "curvy."

Our theory is when you are really fat, the media can't be outwardly mean so they came up with this term "curvy."  When you've gained a few, you are "fat."  WTF?  So in other words it's okay to call an almost slim person fat but you can never, ever call a fat person fat. Not that we condone using size to bully (fat, skinny, tall, short, whatever) but this is some ass-backwards political-correctness, no? 

Thanks for readin'

T & A